JIM McKENNA, Ph.D.
Presents...............

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A Newsletter about people and their relationships. It's about you and me at HOME and at WORK.

Written by Jim McKenna, Ph.D., who has specialized in counseling relationship problems for over thirty years.
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Please click on box above to send your comments, suggestions or requests for articles of specific interest in areas such as

Marriage, family, re-marriages Addictions Compulsive gambling Crises at home and work

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Jim McKenna, Ph.D.
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 Dardenne Prairie, Mo 63368

Phone: (636) 532-3334
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About the Newsletter

This newsletter was previously
"Relatively Speaking."
The new title is "McKenna Solutions" - Field tested solutions to everyday problems at work and at home.

Our home relationships come into the workplace when we, for instance, treat employees in the same manner as we might treat our children or put our parent's face on a boss.

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About the Author Jim McKenna, Ph.D. has specialized for over 30 years in working with relationships both clinically and as a management consultant to Fortune 500 corporations. Dr. McKenna is a board certified trainer of therapists and management trainers. He has focused his practice on treating problems experienced by people raised in highly negative, crisis-oriented environments. Such families produce adults who are highly successful outside the home and fail in close relationships. Dr. McKenna is a Clinical Teaching Member of the International Transactional Analysis Association, a Supervising Clinical Member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, and a Diplomat of the Academy of Certified Social Workers. He earned his doctorate in Clinical Psychology with an exhaustive study of how people substitute crises for excitement. He is President and CEO of Personnel Assistance Consulting Team (PACT, Inc.) in St. Louis, Missouri. Jim enjoys 41 years of marriage with Jan and has five children with six grandchildren.

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McKenna Solutions
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               August  2008• Volume XII, Number 1    
  

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 What's Right

By
James A. McKenna, Ph.D.

            It was a particularly hot day in May of 1963 in St. Louis, Missouri, as I left the soccer field.  I was in my sixth year of the local seminary preparing to be a priest.  For the last year, I was troubled with whether being a priest was for me.  I knew that what was being emphasized
(doing penance and make sacrifices) was a bit against my nature.  I preferred to be thankful and notice how good life has been.

             I was on my way to my spiritual advisor with whom I have been confiding in for the past year about my conflict with the way of life I was being taught.  Then, suddenly I saw the water cooler.  Now, in those days, the way I was being taught, it would be better to pass up the drink--even though I was worn out and sweating from playing soccer and dearly yearned for that drink.  Instead, I looked at the water cooler and took a long and satisfying drink.  Then I found this prayer: "Thanks God!  You allow me problems like being worn-out from playing soccer and you give me solutions, like this water!"

            From there I took my shower and marched on to my appointment with my spiritual adviser.  When I got there, I announced, "Well, after over a year of prayer and indecision about my future, God finally gave me an answer!"  The startled adviser widened his eyes as I sat down and I could seen the puzzle on his face as he wondered what I was talking about.  I told him about the conversation I had with God at the water cooler and then I announced, "I've decided to leave the seminary and pursue a different way to serve the Lord."  I have never since then doubted this decision and, in fact, I have daily been able to notice how good life has been even when things go wrong.

           That was the beginning of a long life of focusing on what is good and what's working for me, instead of beating my breast and thinking about what was going wrong every time I had a problem. 

             Later in life, I decided to become a therapist and instead of saving souls, I chose to get souls ready for God.  I heard a story while I was in the seminary that has never left me and was more like my temperament.  It was about this homeless man who would come to the rectory and asked for food.  The priest never brought up God or his salvation.  Instead, the priest would just feed the homeless man and send him on his way.  This happened over the next three months on a pretty regular basis.  Finally, the homeless man didn't come back for nearly a year.  When he did come back, he was clean and well dressed.  He said that he was interested in going back to church and that he got a job.  Then he asked, "As often as I came and you fed me, you never mentioned God.  Why?"  The priest said, "Well your body was hungry and you were nowhere near wanting to hear about God.  You needed your body healed before I could attempt to heal your soul."  The man then said, "My body is good now and now I like to learn more about God."  Then, I knew what my mission in life was to be: to make people ready for God by providing first the therapy they required and then if they wished, I'd send them to a church.  I can't begin to tell you how often I have heard people announce after therapy that they have decided to go back to a church of their choice.

            Since then, I have also learned that the mind goes where you send it.  If you notice how good you are feeling you will feel even better.  I learned to change how I prayed too.  Instead of only praying when I needed something or when things were going wrong, I learned to notice what was right in my life.  To this day, I celebrate when I can urinate without a problem.  I can thank God for good health and it seems to help me stay healthy.  Because I have high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes, I can also celebrate when my blood sugar is low and the physician tells me that my blood pressure is 126 over 76--not bad for a 73-year-old man.  Of course, I notice when my feet hurt from some nerve damage that diabetes causes.  Yet, right now, I am celebrating how great my feet feel--free of any pain whatsoever.  Thanks God.  You give me some pain--yet you seem always to give me much relief!

Write me at Dr.Jim@JimMcKenna-PhD.com.

 

Click on Card Player to see Other Articles in
GAMBLING TIMES MAGAZINE
and
POKER PLAYER NEWS

 

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